


Not platonic

by vendelabelle67



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:54:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28213494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vendelabelle67/pseuds/vendelabelle67
Summary: Derek overhears a telephone conversation between Penelope and her cousin. The topic is not meant for his ears.
Relationships: Penelope Garcia/Derek Morgan
Comments: 3
Kudos: 56





	Not platonic

"Why do we need to talk about this again, Becca? Only because I said his girlfriend is a wonderful smart person?"

Derek halted in front of Garcia's office door. He'd just finished his paperwork and gone about to pry her off her screens.

"I'm not pretending to not be jealous. He deserves to finally have a stable relationship. Savannah is taking really good care of him, doesn't tolerate his shit, works hard and crazy hours like he does. They fit. And to be jealous she would have to take something away from me which she doesn't."

"..."

"And I will never tell him, end of the story. It's 3 in the fricking morning and I only took your call because I have a longass run which needs to finish."

"..."

"We're going on a double date. With Sam."

"..."

"If you don't drop it I'll hang up on you, cousin or no cousin. What do you want me to say? That I'll die of a broken heart because the man I love doesn't love me back the same way? Bullshit, I do not care..He loves me enough..I have it in writing. He said it to my face.. on the phone and once in his sleep which he doesn't remember."

"...."

Derek felt hot and cold at the same time. He wanted to bolt and cover his ears like a child.

"Years ago when we shared a room. I was with Kevin at that time."

"...."

"Oh, dear god. Get it into your head..we are friends..since more or less 8 years.  
Kevin complained a bit but we laughed it off. I only lied that Derek took the floor."

For the first time during the conversation the smile was back in her voice. 

"He was very sweet, mumbling my name and that he loved me. I could have misunderstood but I know his..I want to get it on with you..voice and that wasn't it at all. But it made me happy and safe and content. Listen..run is through, hon. When are you coming to see me?"

"..."

"Send me your flight dates so I can come and get you. Yeah, love you, bye!"

She turned around on her chair and he stood there and by the look on his face she knew he'd heard most of the conversation. 

"Hey, hey, you know all that..you know..even if I never said it out loud", she began softly.

Derek left wordlessly.

XXXXX

The past five months had been surreal. Penelope didn’t know you could freeze a part of your heart. 

Derek simply had stopped talking to her, except professionally of course. He didn’t snap at her or was unfriendly, no. He was nice and as distant as the moon.

She returned his calls as courteously and efficient as always.

Seeing each other at the office was another matter. Penelope made sure not to look at him while presenting a case.

Derek was focused on details and facts, jotting down notes in order to avoid any interaction with her. It made him ill to realise the light in her eyes was gone.

He’d first believed she would try to talk to him again, waited for it actually. It never happened. She drew back into herself and gradually changed her demeanor around everyone. 

Then her clothes, her quirky, fun, sexy outfits disappeared. She wore black now.

He witnessed JJ inquire about it, but Penelope deflected by saying she’d worked with a style coach. Then she refocused on the case file in her hands.

He wondered if he ever would be able to look at her again and not feel so gutted. 

XXXXX

“Babe, what’s going on?” Savannah snuggled up to her fiance. “You have been so preoccupied and a bit sad during the last weeks. Something bad happened with a case?”

Derek tensed. He wanted to relax with his fiance for once, enjoy some downtime.

“I’m sorry, babe. I should have told you. Penelope and I are no longer friends and I guess it affects me more than I thought.” 

“What happened that is so bad you can’t be friends anymore? After, what, more than 8 years?” 

She was quite shocked.

“She’s in love with me, Savannah”, he ground out, “she discussed it with her cousin on the phone, late at night, thinking nobody was in the office. Even when she was with Lynch and now with Sam..I can’t understand her. How can she live like this? Not to mention how she helped us to get together.”

She moved out of his arms, staring at him. “Are you for real? How could you not know? Everyone does, including me. Some profiler, you are. I just didn’t mention it because it was so obvious and a long time thing that didn’t interfere with our relationship, on the contrary. Penelope is pure with a good heart and wants you to be happy. She didn’t do anything wrong in my opinion.”

His mouth dropped open and he felt his ears heat.

“Alright..Then how come she’s quiet as a mouse, doesn’t look at me in the office? How come when we talk on the phone, it’s like I have someone from the bank on the line? How come she acts so guilty, hmm?”

He expectantly looked at her, but she said nothing for long minutes. Then she got up, put her jacket on and her purse over her shoulder.

“I want you to think very, very carefully what you just revealed to me about yourself, Derek. The words insensitive and toolish come to mind and those are the nicer ones..”, she said quietly before closing the door behind her.

XXXXX

“Do you think they will ever make up?” JJ sat with Emily at their favorite sushi-bar downtown.

“Did they even have a fight? We just know something happened, something Penelope thinks is her fault. I mean, have you looked at her recently?” Emily popped an Edamame.

“I tried talking to her about it. She brushed me off, nicely though. I can’t remember the last time she made a sassy comment or flirted with someone.”

“Morgan walks around all stiff and proper. I think he even sleeps at the office sometimes, he’s so involved in the casework. Don’t get me started on how he behaves out in the field. Mister Super-Regulations here I come. And the thing is..I cannot fault him. He doesn’t do anything wrong.”

“Wait, what?” JJ frowned. “He doesn’t go home at night? Isn’t he engaged to be married to that cute doctor?”

Emily smirked. “Uh..that probably went bust not so long ago, if her yelling at him through the phone was any indication.”

“Oopsie..Shouldn’t we do something? I mean, it’s been months. They are both so miserable all the time”, JJ sighed.

“Let’s talk to Reid and Dave and come up with some plan to solve this.”

XXXXX

Derek was on his way to work. It was early, but traffic already was a bitch.  
The radio was tuned to his favorite hip-hop station and he was humming along when suddenly his car slammed into the one in front him. Everything went dark.

XXXXX

“Hullo?” Penelope slurred into the phone, which insistent ringing had roused her from a fitful slumber.

“P. You need to come to the MCCS. Morgan’s been in a car crash”, JJ informed her in a clipped voice.

“I’ll be right there, thirty minutes tops.”

She didn’t ask if it was bad, she didn’t need to. She started praying.

XXXXX

He woke up to utter silence. His eyelids felt heavy when he tried to open them. 

“He’s blinking”, he suddenly heard a male voice say. It sounded oddly familiar.

He must be in a hospital, it smelled like antiseptics and heavy cleaning products.

The hands examining him were gentle, clearly avoiding to add any pain.

“Mister Morgan?"

He didn't remember anyone by that name.

"Mister Morgan, can you understand me?"

He frowned. "Are..uh..you talkin' to me?"

XXXXX

Penelope had stayed with her team until a doctor had come out to reassure them Derek would be fine and recover a 100%. 

He surely didn’t want her to hang around and come visit him. So she’d headed to work, doing her job as always, pushing away all the thoughts about the accident and what could have happened.

XXXXX

Derek was alone, for the first time in weeks. His mother and Desi had been here for the last two months.

Although he still didn’t remember them, or anyone else for that matter, he was comfortable around them. The days were spent showing him his neighborhood, shops, going through his papers and helping him find his way in his own home. They looked at their family albums and Desi and his mom would tell him stories. 

Often somebody from his team would come to visit if they weren't on a case. He listened attentively to their stories. He felt closest to Dr. Spencer Reid, but liked all of them.

Now he was puttering in the attic, going through the boxes from his last move, trying to decide what to keep and what to donate or throw out. 

In one of the boxes he found a smaller box, a very pretty one, blue with tiny moon stones. It looked like it belonged to one of his sisters. He opened the lid and stared at the photo of a blonde, buxomy woman with quirky glasses and a dashing, warm smile.

The angel, he dreamed about sometimes. She was real. Where was she and who? Nobody had mentioned her to him. There were more photos, the two of them together, looking thick as thieves and some others of the whole team. 

He pulled out his phone.

“Derek? Are you okay?” the worried voice of his friend Spencer answered. 

“Yeah, I’m good. I hope I’m not disturbing you, but would you mind coming over tonight?”

“Sure. Want me to bring Pizza and some beers? Shall I ask the others?”

“Just you, please.”  
“See you around 7 then.”

XXXXX

Spencer colored as Derek showed him the pictures.

“Who is she?”

“Her name is Penelope Garcia, she’s the technical analyst of our team.”

“And? She’s never visited me not at the hospital nor here at home. I didn’t even know she really existed.”

“What do you mean, really existed?”

Now it was Derek who turned red. “I dream about her, I thought she was an angel.”

His friend grinned and then turned serious immediately. 

“I don’t know what happened between Garcia and you. About a year ago, you ended your friendship. Neither you nor she ever talked about why.”

“We were only friends? Not a couple?” Derek had to ask. 

“Correct. A few months before the accident you ended an engagement with Dr. Savannah Hayes. You'd been with her for the last few years and P. with a guy named Sam. Didn’t your mom tell you?”

“She did, but couldn’t say why we broke up. I honestly never thought about seeking her out. But back to Penelope. Does she ever ask how I am or if I will come back?" 

He looked hopeful, irritated and wistful at the same time.

"Whenever your name is mentioned she either leaves the room or changes the subject. It makes her uncomfortable. Here, look at the picture I took last sunday at the Sacred Heart Women Shelter. Compare it to the old ones in your box.”

Derek studied the photo on Spencer's phone. He traced her face with his finger.

"She's sad. I did that to her."

For the very first time since Derek had woken up at the hospital, Spencer believed in his recovery.

XXXXX

Penelope was folding laundry when the knock sounded on her front door.  
She didn’t expect a visitor. Curious she spied through the peephole and couldn’t suppress a gasp.

Her hands were shaking as she opened the door.

“Hey”, Derek said. 

She wished she’d put on proper clothes instead of a very revealing top and jazz pants as his eyes roamed over her with a hungry expression she’d never seen before. Obviously his memory hadn’t returned.

“Hi.” She offered hesitantly.

“May I come in?”

“Please, take a seat. I’ll make coffee.” She led him into the living room and then went over to the kitchen island.

“Thank you.”

He sat on the large gray couch, taking in the paintings on the wall, the shelves with hundreds of books, the plants in front of the bay window. 

Penelope arrived with two mugs, handing one to him. He took a sip and groaned. 

“Oh wow, this is perfect..”

She stared at him. Automatically she had doctored the coffee the way he liked it best. 

“Uh..glad you approve. What brings you here or rather how did you get my address?”

“Yesterday, I found this in the attic..” Derek pulled the box out of his backpack and saw Penelope shrink into the farthest corner of the sofa. She obviously knew what it contained.

“I thought you’d thrown it away.”

“Reid told me we were friends for a long time. He didn’t know more. That’s why I came here today. I..keep seeing you in my dreams. Until yesterday I didn’t know you really existed. I thought you were an angel.”

She started to cry and he couldn’t help himself any longer. He scooted over and pulled her in his arms.

“I am so sorry..I don’t remember anything, but I can’t stand your distress..”

She was stiff as a board for long minutes, but his warm hand kept stroking her back, his lips found the top of her head. 

“It’s all my fault”, she began, face hidden against his chest. 

“I’m sure that’s not entirely true. Tell me, Penelope. I really want to know what happened between us.”

He was caressing her hair, playing with her golden curls. Somehow he knew he’d either done it before or wanted to. He loved the feeling of her in his arms. The dreams were becoming reality.

“YoufoundoutIlovedyouromanticallyandnowyoudespisemeforlyintoyouforever...”

Derek processed her stumbled, rushed words and pulled back. He tipped her chin up, searching her eyes. 

“What a fucking idiot”, he said slowly and kissed her. 

For blissful seconds she let him, even responding, before she gently pushed him away.

“I cannot take advantage of you”, she whispered, “when you get your memory back..you will resent me even more..”

Derek sighed. “But I kissed YOU, not the other way around. And I sincerely doubt I despise you..the way it feels, it’s the exact opposite. I’ve been dreaming of you for months now and those dreams make me happy. You make me happy. Kissing you makes me happy.”

Her heart twisted painfully in her chest, new tears formed behind her eyes.

“How I wish I could believe you”, she answered, “I’ve loved you for so long and it was okay..our friendship strong and good. I never would have asked for more, Derek. I was happy for you and Savannah. I adore her. She’s perfect for you. I had Kevin and then Sam in my life, I was content. And then..you heard me telling my cousin about my true feelings.”

He saw that she was about to start crying again and took her hands. 

“Go on..”

“You..turned away and left. I betrayed you..for years. I understand that we can’t be friends anymore.”

Derek felt a lump in his throat.

“Reid..he came over yesterday after I found the box and explained a little bit..and gave me your address. He said you’ve withdrawn from everyone. They’re all worried about us. Apparently before the accident, I was working like a crazy person, sometimes sleeping at the office and I broke off my engagement to Savannah.”

Penelope’s mouth dropped open. “Wh..Why..oh..you don’t know of course..”

Derek bit his lip. “I called her..Wanna know what she said?”

She nodded.

“Typical for you to get a bump on the head to realise you love your best friend..She also said she knew the moment I told her..”

“Told her what?”

“About the end of our friendship and why..”

“But you were so pissed, Derek..you froze me out immediately and I couldn’t blame you.”

“There is one question, Penelope. Why have you never asked for more? Maybe that’s what made me mad unconsciously..”

“I saw who you dated, thin, cute things, so very different from myself. I never doubted your love for me, mind you..not once..just not like that..and as I said before..it was totally fine. But losing your friendship broke my heart, Derek. It broke me.”

He hugged her. “I’m so sorry..I can’t say it enough. Even if I never remember anything from before, the way I feel when I have you near..hell, the way I feel when I dream about you..I love you, Penelope. I have no doubts. Would you give me a chance? Spend time with me? I want to get to know you..everything about you..”

“I’m scared, hot stuff..”, she mumbled and Derek jolted upright. 

His eyes were wide and shocked as he looked down at her.

“Hot stuff”, he rasped. “You called me hot stuff..Babygirl.."

"You.." Penelope tried to get away from him, panicking, horrified, but he trapped her, fingers like steel around her upper arms. 

"That was the trigger..they should have told me..it was you I needed..all along..what if I hadn't found that box?"

"But you did and now you have your memory back, you can come to work again."

He heard the tone of her voice change to the bland impersonal way before the accident. The lump in his throat was back.

"Penelope..don't do that..please, baby.."

"Do what?" she asked dully.

"Shrink away. I can't..I need you..I love you..I asked you for a chance.."

The pure confusion in her face made him want to smash something.

"B..but that was when you didn't remember.."

"That was the ONLY thing I remembered. My love for you. First in my dreams and today when I saw you, held you, kissed you."

"Derek..", she started but was interrupted by his kiss, hot and so much more intense than before.

"No..i'm not letting you go this time", he said darkly as she made mewling noises of despair. "I missed you like none ever before, I don't want to live without you. You love me, Penelope!! And I love you! Get it into your head."

"It's not that easy.."

"Who said anything about easy? I was a jerk..I've got months..no..a year to make it up to you..but..please..let me.., Babygirl..please?"

Penelope sighed. "Fine. So, we are dating now?"

He grinned at her. "Oh yeah..how about you get dressed and in the meantime I make reservations at Paolo’s? It's early enough to get a table."

"If you'd let me off the couch..", she consented.

"5 minutes..", he answered and claimed her lips again.

XXXXX

Monday morning at the B.A.U, Spencer was on his way back to the bullpen, coffee in hand, when he watched the elevator doors open, revealing Morgan and Garcia. 

Derek said something to her and she giggled, poking his chest with a well manicured finger. Penelope wore a beautiful dark pink skirt with a matching vest and had a butterfly in her hair. Then he leaned down and kissed her. 

“Happy returns”, she whispered and stole another kiss before departing towards her office.

“Hey, pretty boy, what’s cooking?” he greeted Spencer, throwing an arm around his friends shoulders.

“Nothing at the moment. When did you get your memory back? Judging by the display of PDA, Ms. Garcia had a hand in it?”

To his mortification, Derek flushed. “Uhm..yeah..Friday night..am gonna see Hotch now.”

Spencer beelined into JJ’s office. Good news had to be shared.


End file.
